Make-up sex in good and bad relationship

 

Make-up sex is a superficial remedy for fights. The remedy is beneficial when the relationship is basically positive, and the fights are typically local and limited—they do not express a fundamentally hostile split. However, when more profound problems underlie the relationship, make-up sex is of little value and may even invoke negative emotions by not treating the problem seriously. In this sense, the complete lack of make-up sex, despite the presence of constant fights (as described in one of the above quotations), expresses the significant problematic nature of the relationship, which make-up sex cannot help.

When the fights underlying make-up sex are local and limited, they may be like small amounts of poison that immunize the system or like a low-level noise that improves the system's performance (see here). When the poison and noise are significant, they can ruin the system. When fights preceding make-up sex are limited and local, they can be regarded as an obstacle that the couple can overcome, and sex is one of the ways in which to do so. In this latter case, when the relationship is basically positive, make-up sex is typically great and the relationship is likely to improve. When the fights are significant and express the problematic nature of the relationship, make-up sex can damage the relationship and the partners even further.

It is not necessary to provoke serious fights in order to have great sex, as there is a price to be paid for fighting. Moreover, if a fight is deliberately provoked, the subsequent sex may lose its attraction as a reaffirmation of love. Furthermore, as disagreements, misunderstandings and fights are common in healthy relationships, there is no need to artificially provoke them—there is just the need to overcome them in a positive manner.

To sum up, make-up sex and breakup sex can be valuable and wonderful incertain circumstances. In the case of make-up sex, the fights should be local and limited; and in the case of breakup sex, the two should still like each other and the breakup should be mutual. In other cases, both make-up sex and breakup sex can be harmful as they do not solve problems but merely deepen them. In any case, great sex is not limited to after-fights or goodbye bed experiences; it can also be part of profound love.